


far away (and yet we are so close)

by BIutifulSnake



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Korean Keith (Voltron), M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-13 16:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21177392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BIutifulSnake/pseuds/BIutifulSnake
Summary: They've been fighting in space for over a year.And Lance misses home.





	far away (and yet we are so close)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to my dear friend sandy (bluepaladin-leandro on tumblr) for beta reading and editing this work!

During this time of the day, the Castle of Lions was silent; the lights all over the place programmed to give a soft dim light to create an artificial feeling of an earthling night. This way it would be easier for the mighty paladins of Voltron to sleep; to give them a sense of belonging.

Lance appreciated Allura and Coran's vast attempts to make them feel more at home (especially during such jarring times, as fighting an intergalactic war apparently tended to be), but sometimes, as selfish as it felt, it wasn't enough.

It was during those times, while everyone slept, that Lance would slip out of his bedroom and go to the control deck to stare at space's permanent night and countless stars.

They had been out here for almost a year and they were nowhere close to defeating the Galra, or at least that's how it felt to him. He wanted nothing more than to go back home to his family; to his mom's warm embrace.

His heart constricted inside his chest and he felt sad all over again. His mama's birthday was supposed to be on that day, back on Earth, and it was the first one he’s ever missed. 

For a second he tried to imagine what it would be like to suddenly walk into his house in Cuba, surprising everyone, just in time to wish her a happy birthday– but he disregarded that thought almost immediately. Imagining that would only make him feel worse. Instead, he looked at the stars and wished for her to be content that day, for everyone to give her everything, as long as she didn't feel his absence on her special day.

Tears started falling down his face, and he felt grateful there was no one around to witness it.

Closing his eyes, he hugged his legs close, trying to become as small as possible, as small as he felt at that moment. He cried silently; his sobs still loud in the quietness of the castle, but he didn't care, the need to let it all out greater than the fear of being discovered.

Lance didn't know how much time had passed when he finally calmed down enough to stop crying, taking a deep breath and sighing. 

He stayed in the same position for a while, too exhausted to even move, and his mind started drifting back to his family, back to old memories he held dear to his heart.

He remembered the movie nights at home. How his whole family would gather around the tv on cold winter days with an armful of blankets and pillows, ready to spend hours together right then and there. He remembered his parents, sitting on the couch cuddling, his dad absently tracing patterns on his mom's arm; a small Lance staring in awe as the skin lit up a warm orange wherever his dad touched. His soulmark. The color would fade within the next minutes, leaving clear skin again, and his dad would trace a new pattern, seemingly as hypnotized as his son, even more so even.

A small smile made its way onto his face. The love his parents shared was one of the purest things he had ever witnessed, and he was sure it transcended even their soul link. He remembered the mornings, when his dad would leave for work, how his mom would give him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a bright magenta mark there; how they both would laugh about it every time, without fail. The looks of adoration they both shared, and how they transmitted that same love to Lance and his siblings.

It was only when he heard someone calling his name that his mind came back to reality. The sound of that voice was way too distinct for it to be unnoticeable. He blinked and looked up, finding Keith standing a few feet away, his dark purple eyes bright as ever, as if there were a light illuminating them. Lance absently wondered how good his sight actually was. 

"Can't sleep?" The boy asked, and Lance took a deep breath, nodding, silently answering Keith's unspoken question as well.

He was quick to understand, immediately walking closer and sitting down beside him almost on autopilot. So close Lance could make out his face, but still not close enough.

Their childish fights had died down months ago, and their relationship had gone from rivals to teammates to tentative friends. This was probably almost a tradition of theirs already; casually finding each other on the control deck in the middle of the night while everyone else slept, when they knew they were completely alone and nobody would interrupt them. 

At least that was how Lance liked to think.

He wondered if sometimes Keith would leave his room at night, hoping to find him there, just as he did.

It was only on rare occasions that they talked, though. Most times they would just sit there together, looking through the window at space, finding enough comfort just in the fact that they weren't actually alone. 

But when they did; they were completely honest, and it was on those nights that Lance learned the most about the Red Paladin.

During those rare times, he had learned that Keith was an orphan. His dad was a firefighter that died while on duty. He was in the system up until he was about twelve years old.

It was Shiro who found him and took him under his wing, who didn't stop fighting for him until the orphanage allowed him to take the boy home, who never gave up on him even when he had given up on himself. Who legally adopted him for good alongside his fiancé, even if their relationship was that of brothers rather than parent and son. Keith was forever grateful for that.

He was Korean, and he was able to learn the language while his dad was still alive. Even after his father’s death he never stopped practicing, feeling closer to him whenever he talked in their mother tongue.

He cared deeply for the team, even if he had a hard time expressing it. He saw them as his family.

He had captured Lance's heart in ways that he himself couldn’t seem to understand, and his heart ached with the want to reach out and interlace their hands together. 

But he never dared to do it, scared of discovering the crushing truth if he did so.

Almost a year had passed and they never touched. Not even once.

He wanted to touch him so bad. 

Lance remembered his first girlfriend. They were both fourteen when they started dating, and even then they didn't dare to touch each other directly, he had sensed a deep connection between them. He was sure she had felt it too, to the point where they had sworn to not break up if they weren't soulmates. 

But when their three months anniversary came on and they finally decided to hold hands, the utter disappointment they both felt was obvious, and things didn't get better after that. They agreed to break up within the week.

It was the same with the rest of the people he dated, and the ones he crushed on. It wouldn't be any different this time. He didn't want to shatter his own heart again.

_ "You belong to the stars, Leandro,"  _ his mama used to tell him,  _ "that's why you haven't found your soulmate just yet. _ "

His stomach twisted at the memory, and he felt homesick all over again. He remembered the first time his mom told him that; he was six and kept asking her why he hadn't found his soulmate yet. When he heard those words, he grinned so hard he forgot completely about the previous conversation.

The second time was after his third heartbreak, after seeing how all his friends and classmates had already found theirs and he was still alone.

The third time was when he got accepted in the Galaxy Garrison after years of training for that moment, a bright, proud smile on his mama's face. He had cried, hugging her tightly, telling her how much he loved her, and how he'd make her proud.

He almost choked on air, and he blinked rapidly, fighting back tears.

"What's on your mind?" Keith asked in a low voice, and it sounded so soft in Lance's ears that it almost caused him to start crying again.

"I miss my family," he said, but he had the feeling the boy had already figured that out, "and today's supposed to be my mom's birthday," he ended up admitting.

"Oh," was all Keith answered, but Lance got the message just fine.

"Yeah…" He nodded, turning his head to look at him. 

Keith was looking at him intensely, not sure of what to do next, his eyes still as bright. He was frowning, and it looked like there were gears turning inside his brain. Lance couldn't lie and say he didn't find that cute.

He wasn't wearing his jacket or his trademark fingerless gloves. Instead he was with his old ratty black T-shirt, pajama pants and his red lion slippers. It looked like he had been laying in bed for a while before deciding on coming to the control deck.

His hair had grown out significantly during their time in space; the boy refusing to get a haircut, so it was well past his shoulders, long enough to put it in a ponytail or even braid it. 

The messy mullet Lance made so much fun of was long since gone. Instead, now it looked wavy and oh, so soft. He had to physically restrain himself from combing his fingers through Keith's locks.

His mind drifted away again, and this time a clear image of him coming back home to his family invaded his head, his mama appearing through the door of the kitchen to see who arrived, and finding him there. A dark-haired boy holding his hand, and a big smile on his face.

He blushed furiously, and he pushed that thought far, far away into his brain. He hoped Keith's sight wasn't as good as he believed it to be.

"Don't think too much about it," Lance told him, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, an anxious tick he was never able to get rid off. 

"It's okay, I'm okay… I just hope she's having a good time right now. She probably… she probably thinks I'm dead– they all probably think that and I– I'm…" tears formed in his eyes again, and this time he couldn't fight them.

"I can't… do anything to change that right now," he finished, covering his face with his hands.

"Oh, Lance, no, please– please don't cry, I–" Keith tried to say, desperation lacing his usual calm, neutral voice.

"I'm sorry," he managed between sobs, covering his face as much as he could "you weren't– you weren't supposed to see me like this, I…" He hiccupped, "I'm so sorry."

Keith scoffed, and somehow that made him feel even worse. Maybe he had annoyed him, maybe he would leave him alone now and never talk to him again.

"What the  _ fuck _ are you apologizing for, Lance?" He demanded, and Lance opened his mouth to answer, but Keith beat him to it before he could even say a word.

"Just– come here, you absolute moron," was all he said before reaching out and pulling Lance against his body and tangling his arms awkwardly around his neck.

Lance didn't even think about it, hugging Keith around the waist tightly, while the other boy rested his chin on the top of his head. 

He sobbed harder then, if it was possible. He breathed heavily, taking short, fast breaths, his hands tightly holding Keith's shirt in fistfuls. Keith was tense but absently drawing patterns on his back softly, unsure of how to comfort someone feeling such distress, but still trying his best to do so. 

Lance had lost a grasp of time, so he didn't know how much he cried until he started calming down– it could have been a lifetime as long as he was concerned.

It was only when Lance did so, loud sobs turning into deep, slow breaths, as he tried to copy Keith's, that said boy relaxed and finally melted into the hug, adjusting himself better into a more comfortable position for the both of them.

Neither said a word for a while, the brown-eyed boy worried that he could ruin the moment if he spoke– that if he opened his mouth, Keith could snap out of whatever magic trance he was in, that made him embrace Lance in an almost bone-crushing hug.

Now that he had calmed down, he noticed one of Keith's hands caressing his back softly, his slender fingers so careful it was barely noticeable despite the boy's usual rough demeanor.

It was surprising, actually; so much that it sent goosebumps all over his body.

Lance breathed in, clearing all and any thought out of his head, only savoring the moment; where he was holding Keith, and Keith was holding him; and he felt silly, who would have known that such a thing would send his heartbeat skyrocketing? That the thoughts he was spiraling in and torturing himself with, would slowly but surely leave his mind?

"How… are you feeling?" Keith asked slowly, unsure.

Eyes closed, he squeezed even tighter, nuzzling his face on the crook of the boy's neck. "Better," he sighed.

Keith squeezed back. "Yeah?"

Lance nodded, feeling his face heat up. "Yeah."

"I'm glad," was the answer he got, voice so fond it made funny things to his stomach. 

"And… I'm sorry if the hug is kind of awkward, I just, you know, have no idea what I'm doing–"

"I have realized as much–"

"Lance!" 

"–But it's the intention that matters!" he finished quickly before Keith could retreat from the hug.

The boy grunted but stayed still nonetheless, and Lance found himself feeling relief. He didn't want to part just yet.

"You're not funny," Keith complained.

"I'll have you know I'm  _ very _ funny, Keith."

"You really aren't, and you're ruining the moment," he joked, his bare hand caressing Lance's arm softly.

"Am not."

"You are."

"Am not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you–" Keith started saying, but stopped completely all of a sudden, body tensing considerably; the hand on his arm freezing on the spot.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, curious.

"I… um…"

He didn't complete the sentence, instead slowly retreating his hand from where they were touching, and that's when it hit him.

Realization washed Lance like an ice bucket and his stomach started twisting. They were touching.  _ Touching.  _ But if Keith had reacted the way he did… it meant one thing.

And Lance was terrified of that.

Heart beating fast, he untangled himself from the red paladin in a desperate attempt to corroborate his speculations, wishing with everything inside him to be wrong, even if his heart longed for the contrary.

Because Keith didn't feel the same way. Keith didn't feel the same butterflies every time he looked at him, he didn't feel giddy at the mention of his name or reluctant at the prospect of saying goodbye for the night, or before a mission. Lance was sure of that.

But as he looked over at his own arm, he got goosebumps on his whole body again. Thick, messy, deep red lines decorated his skin, shining softly under the dim light of the stars outside the castle ship. He darted his eyes away, to Keith's hand, only to see a soft but brighter blue on his whole palm.

_ Soulmarks. _

Those were their  _ soulmarks _ .

They stayed still for a long time, the air thick with a weird kind of tension Lance could not decipher, but he was unable to get a word past his lips, or to look at Keith's face, for the matter. His cheeks burned, and he was terrified of rejection.

They stayed like that, in silence, for so long, Lance felt like it was torture. They stared at their skin, watching as the color slowly but surely faded out of their bodies and, even long after the marks were gone, they sat there in silence.

So much time passed that Lance had started thinking, or rather trying to convince himself, that he had hallucinated the whole thing, or that he was dreaming and he would wake up at any given moment. But then something unexpected happened.

Keith reached out and grabbed his arm, shanking it towards him. 

"Wha… What are you…?" He tried to ask, his voice wavering in a way that wasn't as smooth as he wished.

"Shh," Keith started, brows furrowed as he looked at Lance's now marked wrist, "I thought… I thought I was of those people that didn't have a soulmate."

He grabbed his wrist again, softer this time, and touched Lance's arm with his other hand. He drew a single dot with his fingertip and smiled to himself. 

Lance's heart jumped in his chest as he witnessed all of that, his blush spreading from his face to his ears as well.

Keith kept drawing, concentrated on what he was doing, and Lance felt almost overwhelmed. What did that mean?

"Why did you think you were… soulmate-less?" He whispered.

"I don't really know. I always assumed that, like a fact. I… I thought I wasn't cut out for that kind of stuff."

"Kind of stuff? What do you mean?"

Keith sighed, the touch on his arm wavering for a second before continuing. "You know… Happy stuff. I thought this would never happen to me."

"Aren't you shocked, then?"

The boy nodded, but Lance could notice a small smile on his face. "But it's more of a... pleasant surprise." 

Lance choked on air.

"Why are you making that face?" Keith laughed, and his eyes were bright, even brighter than before, his posture relaxed. 

He was still drawing patterns on his skin, on his hand now since he had basically ran out of space in his arm; it tickled him, but he didn't want Keith to stop, so he didn’t say anything.

"Well, I mean, isn't it weird? It's us, we are… we’re  _ soulmates _ " he said slowly testing the words on his tongue. 

_ Soulmates _ . they were  _ soulmates. Keith _ was his soulmate. 

"We are always fighting, and yet…"

"That's true," the boy answered, eyes leaving his face and instead looking back down at his arm again, staring at the fading marks, "and I don't know about you… But I'm glad it's you," he whispered and, if it hadn't been for the absolute silence of the castle, Lance wouldn't have heard him.

"Wha… What?" he stuttered. If he was being honest, his blush had never left, but somehow it deepened even more.

Keith smiled and raised his head again, his purple eyes looking at Lance. "I'm glad it's you, Lance" he repeated, and his voice sounded so soft and endearing and oh god, Lance was in too deep already. 

"What about you? Are you disappointed it's me?" 

Lance scoffed because he had never heard a stupider boy say something this stupid out loud in his life. So he gathered all the courage he had left and intertwined his hand with Keith's. 

He noticed said boy sucking in a breath in front of him, so he mentally patted his own back; that gave him a little boost of confidence.

"I'm not disappointed at all, Keith, that much I can tell you," he said, "In fact, I'm pretty giddy about this, and terrified because it's… it's  _ you _ . It feels surreal" he continued and brought Keith's hand to his face. "But I'm glad it's you," he whispered, and kissed Keith's knuckles, "Really glad _ ." _

Probably for the first time that night, he wished the lights would be on so that he could see Keith's face at that moment because he was sure this time, the one blushing was him.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos and comments if you liked it!  
my tumblr is: bluemoongoth


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